Living in the future and missing the present

I love to daydream. I can spend entire days, no exaggeration, thinking about and planning how my life might look in the future.

Will I live in the bush? Will I live near a beach or perhaps in the city?

Will I have a dog or a snake or a parrot?

Will I be awesome at yoga, or rock climbing or drawing?

Will I run an AirBnB or a work as a motorcycle instructor or full time blogger?

Will I have a garden or a BBQ or a swimming pool?

If I tried, and perhaps even if I didn’t try, I am confident I could dream up a brand new future for Bee and I every single day for a month and still not have run out of ideas.

And I feel like day dreaming is great for my mind. It allows me time to reflect on and contemplate my thoughts and beliefs. It is when I identify things that are bothering me and things I would like to change about myself.

But the real problem for me is when daydreaming about future me, FIRE’d or otherwise, starts to make me feel as if my current life isn’t offering me enough.

I start to feel that despite having an amazing wife, being very healthy, living in London, travelling Europe, working full time, being debt free and earning enough to also save and invest – there is something missing.

This feeling is a hard one to shake, and I am on a constant quest to try and minimise this feeling of ‘missingness’ (a made-up word of mine to describe the feeling that something is missing).

There are a few areas I have either already started, or will be starting in 2019, to try and bring my mind back out of the future and more in to the present.

Yoga

This I’ve already started. I’m currently 18 days in to 30 Days of Yoga with Adrienne and already seeing a reduction in hip and back pain. I’m seeing increased flexibility and strength when holding poses. I may well join a yoga studio if I find myself continuing to enjoy it as the year progresses.

Making my bed every morning is another goal for 2019 🤣

Gratitude

My understanding is practising gratitude in the way of a journal or something similar is scientifically proven (and if not then extremely anecdotally proven) to improve mood and encourage mindfulness. Surely I can stick to a 5 minute a day mindfulness activity like this?

Exercise

I fell off the wagon towards the end of the year with my fitness, but I know that when I workout regularly I feel better about myself and where I currently am in life.

Daily Yoga practice, cycling to and from work and regular visits to the gym should help with my mood and thought processes in the coming year.

Social time

Now that I’ve given the hospitality life the flick and have secured a 9-5 job again, I’m going to have far more nights and weekends available to spend with the friends we are making here in London.

Few things give me the feeling that life is good quite like a night spent with friends eating and having a food chat. I want to do more of this in 2019 and also experiment with my cooking a bit more as part of that.

Reduced Social Media

The truth is our. Social media makes you feel like shit about your life. I’ve already cut Facebook usage completely (not deleted due to event invites) and hardly use Instagram. But I am still on Reddit and do browse Insta every now and then.

I’d like to continue to reduce this social media usage in the coming months.

Reading

I quite like reading and feel that reading certain types of books helps ground me. I’d like to read a book a week if I can. I can achieve this in between sets at the gym, with my morning coffee, during my lunch break and before bed.

I am hoping that by bringing more of these things (or less in social media’s instance) in to my life in 2019 I will find myself more grounded, less stressed, ruminating less and more able to live in the present rather than the myriad futures I can imagine.

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